Tweak...Tweak...Ride!

Prompt #2: Living with diabetes (or caring for someone who lives with it) sure does take a lot of work, and it's easy to be hard on ourselves if we aren't “perfect”. But today it's time to give ourselves some much deserved credit. Tell us about just one diabetes thing you (or your loved one) does spectacularly! Fasting blood sugar checks, oral meds sorted and ready, something always on hand to treat a low, or anything that you do for diabetes. Nothing is too big or too small to celebrate doing well!


After nearly 15 years, I have become an expert at just making tiny adjustments.

Every day is different in terms of how often I check, how much I eat, and how well I count carbs, but as a whole I've made great strides in just accepting the hand that I'm dealt daily. That's not say that I never complain. My twitter feed is littered with #bgnow-s, #cgmnow-s, and the all important RAWRRRR-s. But overall as a whole, I keep my cool with diabetes by just making little adjustments to my routine on my own.

From early in my diabetes career to now, things have been different. I can't say that I remember the times during my early diagnosis where I shot up for a perfectly measured meal and was not allowed to leave food on my plate. It happened. Often. But those memories have migrated into that fuzzy far-way drawer of my brain. Everything was precise and rigid. Like the definition of insanity, I did the exact same thing every day and expected the same results.

Now, I make little adjustments like a pro. Sometimes I visualize my diabetes (personified as a squeaky pancreas) as a little crank motor. Busy schedule? Crank the lever a little to the left for a half turn of more food. Bad day with tons of stress? Crank the lever wayyy to the right for three full turns more of insulin. I'm extremely comfortable adjusting and waiting. Adjusting and waiting. Adjusting...and waiting some more. Very rarely do I freak out about what's going on and need to start from scratch. Pull out all the parts and clean up the grease before putting it all back together. To be honest, I can't really remember the last time I hit reboot. Like everything else, I just go with the flow and enjoy the ride as best I can.

Post World Diabetes Day

404 ERROR: PANCREAS NOT FOUND!
Try reloading the pancreas every 5 years for the impending cure...

Why? Because my pancreas is a paperweight. Why? Because my immune system thinks my Beta cells look strange. Why? Because my T-Lymphocytes are "easily" and "permanently" confused. Why? I WISH I KNEW!

Laughter

If I didn't laugh about "misplacing" Diabetes (and real life) accessories, then I would probably still be hunting down my missing Eggy (Dexcom Reciever), my keys, or my sanity (I think that disappeared 7 or 8 years ago, but shh who's counting?). I walk in the door to my apartment with my keys, my cellphone, Eggy, and my tester in one hand. Recently, I lost my cellphone in a Kohl's while shopping through racks of clothes for something specific. The funny thing about all this is that I'm more likely to lose things while my blood sugar is dropping, which makes them harder to find. I sat down on the floor of the store, popped some glucose tabs, and 15 minutes later just as I was about to give up, on of the retail specialists found it! I laugh at how lucky I am. I laugh at where I find things (under bookshelves, in soccer fields, between seat cushions).

If I didn't laugh about my scar tattoos and hole-y fingers, then I would probably notice all the liquids that leak inadvertently. After having this disease for 14 years, I'm covered in all sorts of scars (my favorites [not] being my infusion site freckles), well beyond my non-D scars (I was a super-clumsy kid and had stitches 4? times). But I notice that not all pokes heal as quickly as you'd think. I love giggling at the double squirters on my fingers (aka when you prick and squeeze the stabbed finger only to notice blood coming out in two places [especially awesome when it's on opposite sides of my finger]). My infusion sites leak when they're just removed and when I decided I want to pick at the scabs. This doesn't include the number of times I've had a juice box leak or squeezed 3/4 of it out on the floor or my clothes in my eagerness for sugar. I laugh at all the stains. As much as I love the color white, I walk around like a stiff robot when I do wear it for fear of ruining a new outfit.

If I didn't laugh about the reasons people think I'm having a D-moment, then I would probably still be lecturing them sternly about all the awesome things I do with my diabetes. It's taken me a while to get to the age where I no longer get upset when people ask me if my blood sugar is okay. My teenage years were not my best years (and if they were for you, kudos for being in the minority). I would get worked up over something my parents or friends would say/do, which would promptly be followed by yelling or even the occasional crying fit (now those are reserved for sappy movies and little kids). They'd ask if my blood sugar was okay and I'd get even more furious. Diabetes does not possess me like a demonic spirit. It's just a disease. Yes, my emotions run wild sometimes because of highs/lows but they're still MY emotions. Instead of getting angry and letting a moment take over my blood sugar, I've learned to laugh and accept that at least they care. In the past few years, people have asked if my blood sugar is okay because I look "funny","tired", or "confused". 90% of the time, I'm okay. Which means 90% of the time I'm laughing at them. I laugh when my climbing partners try to convince me that I need to eat some fruit for sugar instead of just a handful of nuts. When my new roomie walks into my room and asks me if I need some juice whenever I look tired, I can't do anything but smirk. I've learned that teaching people about diabetes is a slow process for some. Diabetes has never stopped me from anything I've really wanted to do. Only I can hold me back and let's just say I'm not a fan of that.

This post is my September entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/september-dsma-blog-carnival/