I just finished my last exam of the semester today. Cell biology will never haunt me again unless I have to retake it (let's all cross our fingers for me!). Technically, I have the next four weeks off. In reality, I should spend some large portion of that time writing grant proposals, reading research papers, figuring out where I want to go in the future, and the steps I need to take to get there.
School vacations always threw me off. Either I'd want to do nothing but relax and then get bored of being a slug only to pick up a tutoring job or research position, or I'd have grandiose plans to read novels or build things that I couldn't during the semester and instead end up sleeping my time away.
I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family that I miss like crazy. To rock climbing with my old crew at least once. To sleeping for eight hours guilt free. To getting some exercise regularly on purpose. Oh yeah, and seeing my endocrinologist to check up on my diabetes, which makes me think of another kind of vacation...
For 10 of the 14 years I've had diabetes, I've never taken a purposeful break from my pump. Yes, I've squeezed in a few dozen shots of insulin when my pumps broken (which I think has only happened 3 or 4 times). And yes, I've occasionally taken shots to tide me over between site changes. With my recent adventures in rotating infusion sites (fairly unsuccessfully, I think), I've been thinking more about just putting my pump away in a drawer for a while. But the thought of that scares me, just a little.
My schedule is... well kind of a nightmare. It's inconsistent. Everyday is different just by the virtue of my classes and visiting lecturers and the nature of research. I've gotten used to being able to dial up or down my basal rates for stress or exercise and extend a bolus for crazy food combinations. I always thought being on shots required more... discipline than I have. Take a shot of long acting twice a day everyday at the same time. Take multiple shots of short acting for all the food consumed for meals and snacks. Which makes me wonder about how much I'd like popping out a pen or a shot when I take just one measely unit for those lectures with free snacks outside where I grab a tiny plate of melon, even if I just ate lunch or dinner is in an hour. It's easy when it's a button. Not so easy when it's a shot.
My mother would never understand why I'd ever take a break. She thinks that my insulin pump is the greatest thing since sliced bread and has always advocated giving pumps to kids even when they were hesitant to give them to teenagers. But I've been making my own decisions about diabetes for a few years now. That shouldn't really be a factor but it's bouncing through my head.
Just cause I'm taking a break from my pump (hypothetically) wouldn't mean I'm taking a break from Eggy (my CGM) so any fear of lows or highs from being on multiple daily injections should be nonexistent. Right?
Maybe I'm over thinking this, and it's just something I have to try. Or maybe I've been stuck with my pump for so long that I'm too comfortable to let go.